He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe
Hall of Fame Category: Cartoons
He-Man and the Masters has to be one of the most loved cartoons of the 80s. Every kid in the 80’s wanted a power sword that could turn them into He-Man, the badassest dude to ever rock a baldric and a loin cloth. While the original series only ran for a year, it consisted of 130 episodes that fans of the show can’t get enough of. It spawn three different series because of its popularity, a She-Ra spinoff and two short lived He-Man revivals in the 90’s and 2002. 80’s pop culture enthusiasts, nerds, and He-Man fans alike lived for the one line they could count on being in each episode: “By the power of Grayskull!” Skeletor didn’t have a chance.

The Ninja Turtles Theme

The Ninja Turtles Theme
Hall of Fame Category: Theme Songs
There are only a handful of theme songs that get stuck in your head. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme (although most people don’t know the extended version of that song.), “The Song That Never Ends” from the Lambchop show, The Ghostbusters theme, and The Ninja Turtles theme. While some theme songs seem to go on forever, like that damn Lambchop song, The theme to the TMNT cartoon was short and sweet, barely a minute long. It got straight to the point and let you know everything you needed to know: Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines, Raphael is cool but crude, and yes… Michaelangelo is a party dude.

Count Chocula

Count Chocula
Hall of Fame Category: Food & Drinks
Some vampires like blood. Others like puppies. Then there’s a few who like cereal. Vlad Chocula is one of those. Count Chocula cereal has been around since 1971. Back in the 70’s you could put anything in food and it was OK. Coca-Cola had cocaine in it, when America invented Chinese Food it had MSG in it, and hundreds of food stuffs had the dye Red 40, which is to blame for all the redheads in the world, and aids. Then in the late 80’s, early 90’s some kid swallowed a razor blade that was in his ham & crackers Lunchable and all of a sudden all food had to be “slightly healthy.” And of course, the FDA took Count Chocula off the shelves due to concerns of health risks (if you ate it you turned into a vampire). The Count changed his recipe, added healthier ingredients, including something called “Wholegrain,” and the Cereal Vampire was back in business. While some store chains still refuse to give the Vamp his dues and don’t sell the Chocula, there’s no doubt it has had a very large pop culture impact. It has an uncountable number of mentions, parodies and odes on TV shows like 21 Jump Street, The Simpsons, Futurama, Invader Zim, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, The Office, and movies like Wedding Crashers and Blade: Trinity. Count Chocula has completed one of his two life long goals, make cereal. The other, kill that damn Nesquik bunny.

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Jean-Claude Van Damme
Hall of Fame Category: People
Jean-Claude Van Damme was the third wheel of 80’s & 90’s action films, luckily beating out Sly Stallone and Arnold Schwarzawhatever for some reasonably decent action films like Bloodsport and Lionheart. JCVD was also a pretty talented kickboxer in his time, finishing with a 15-1 kickboxing record, knocking out his opponent in each of his wins (14 of which were in the first round). Oh.. and he studied ballet for five years. Thats right, he could do a pirouette and then kick your face off. Try that, Chuck Norris. “The Muscles from Brussels” has been in over 30 action films, some with great homosexual porn-like titles such as The Hard Corps, Hard Target, Double Team, Knock Off, and Double Impact. JCVD married a woman with more muscles than him, I guess because he’s scared Tong Po will return (Kickboxer, watch it). Even though his full, real name is Jean-Claude Camille Francois Van Varenberg he’s one of the biggest names in the 80’s Action film movement.

The Brave Little Toaster

The Brave Little Toaster
Hall of Fame Category: Movies (Animated)
Despite the fact that I now hate talking-inanimate-object-animated-movies, especially those with song breaks, The BLT was a perfect movie when it came out. Sure, it didn’t have a great cast (Couple SNL guys), and the names of the characters were… unoriginal: Toaster the Toaster, Blanky the Blanket, Radio the Radio, and Kirby the Vaccuum cleaner (still don’t get that one). But, not much was cooler to a kid than a Toaster and his group of electronic friends trying to find their master. Don’t be surprised if you see this movie remade in the near future. Of course, kids these days will be like “Wait… radio? What’s a radio?” The BLT, toy story, and A Bug’s Life all have something in common. “A113″ is seen in all three movies. In the BLT it’s “The Master’s” apartment number. John Lasseter, the director of all three movies, was in room A113 in college and he worked it into all three movies. Enjoy The Brave Little Toaster for as long as ya can before Hollywood remakes it, or until you accidentally watch “The Brave Little Toaster Goes To Mars.”

The Ultimate Warrior

The Ultimate Warrior
Hall of Fame Category: Sports
In the world of late 80’s, early 90’s pro wrestling, there were really only 2 names you needed to know, first, of course, Hulk Hogan. Second, The Ultimate Warrior. If you were a good, drug-free kid, you probably liked Hulk Hogan. However, if you, or somebody you knew, were a crackhead, you spent your time cheering for The Ultimate Warrior. Most wrestlers were well built (steroids) and in rather good health (except for the steroids) in the 80’s. But the Ultimate Warrior just seemed to have a little too much energy, and nearly overdosed on speed nightly (alegedly). It was no secret that Brian James Hellwig (The Ultimate Warrior’s real name) was strange. In fact, he was like those old high school/college football players that just can’t give up their glory days when Hellwig legally changed his name to “Warrior”. Whether he drew his power from crack (supposedly), speed (allegedly) or meth (Just a rumor), or maybe steroids (most likely) he was still one of the most notable characters from many people’s childhoods. Nowadays however, not so much, its hard to like someone who later turned into a homophobic motivational speaker who looks like a dirty hippie version of Gary Busey.

Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice

Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice
Hall of Fame Category: Music & Songs
Wanna know where Soulja Boy got his moves? Wonder no longer, he got them from the best song of the 90’s, “Ninja Rap” by Vanilla Ice! Granted, Soulja Boy might not have been born yet when this song came out in 1991. He’s like what, 7? 8, maybe? At least we all know what The Iceman was singing about, not so easy with Soulja Boy. Does anyone really know how to crank a Robocop? Sure Soulja Boy might have made more money, and Vanilla Ice’s rap career might have been unsuccessful ever since he tried being a motocross racer. He did, however release an album called “Hot Sex”. But this song has nostalgia written all over it. It was in the second Ninja Turtles movie, it’s Vanilla Ice, every member of the crowd is dressed up in late 80’s/early 90’s gear including a dude wearing a pink headband. Oh, and there’s a guitar keyboard! I dare you to listen to it once and not start singing “Go ninja, go ninja, go!” at least once during the day.

The Domino’s Pizza Noid

The Domino’s Pizza Noid
Hall of Fame Category: Characters
Ah, the Noid. The red clad, big eared, pizza mangler. The Noid hit his peak “popularity” in the 80’s. He was the mascot, or anti-mascot, of Domino’s pizza and had a sick, twisted obsession with ruining our pizzas. His nostalgia is wide spread, tons of commericals, two video games, and he even made appearences on The Simpsons, Family Guy (Adam West killed him), and even chased Michael Jackson in the Moonwalker movie. And if that wasn’t enough, The Noid commercials caused a mentally ill man named Kenneth Lamar Noid to hold an Atlanta Domino’s Pizza hostage for several hours claiming the commercials were a personal attack against him. So remember kids, Avoid the Noid!

Cartoon/Video Game Valentine’s Day Cards

Cartoon/Video Game Valentine’s Day Cards
Hall of Fame Category: Other
Remember those Valentine’s Day parties in elementary school? When you had to give everyone in class a Valentine’s Day card? You’d make those big heart shaped envelopes and tape them to your desk and you’d go around and drop corny little V-day cards in, even to those of the same gender, which was kinda weird. Most people bought these for that special occasion. They had Ninja Turtles, Zelda, Scooby Doo, Super Mario Brothers, even the California raisens… because what kid wasn’t into the California Raisens? Not only did you have enough Valentine’s day cards to send to the whole class, you even had a few left over to keep for yourself or dump in the heart-envelope of the person you had a crush on. But then you still had to explain why you asked a classmate of the same gender to be your Valentine…

Short Circuit

Short Circuit
Hall of Fame Category: Movies (Non-Animated)
Long before people were seriously scared of robots and computers becoming self aware, one did, Number 5. Short Circuit was for robot nerds what E.T. was for sci-fi geeks. The best part of this movie is that on the box it looked like a kids movie. “Oh, a cute little robot becomes friends with a girl, cool.” But the movie itself was laced with swearing, drug & sexual references and a robot checking out a naked babe. It also may have been the originator of computer geek pick up lines “Attractive! Nice Software.” Needless to say, Number 5 beat C3PO, R2D2, Asimo, and the T-1000 as the cutest robot ever (even though he looked like a big metal grasshopper). To prove its nostalgia, there’s a remake of Short Circuit coming out in ‘08 or ‘09. If someone remade you, you’re nostalgic, that’s the rule of thumb. Sadly, like all remakes, its more than likely gonna suck, hard. But for the Pete of Sake, to all kids of the 80’s, everyone who saw Short Circuit, and to nostalgists everywhere, Number 5 is alive.